i am beautiful

Christa over at Young & Restless is doing a link-up. We have to write about the things we love about ourselves instead of the negative. And her post really hit me hard because I've struggled with my weight for years and to this day, I still struggle and can't help but criticize every thing about me. But, it's time to stop that and be proud of what I look like {even if I have a thunder thighs, cellulite, armpit/boob fat} We really need to love who we are. So this link-up is amazing!






now on to the things I love about myself...

I love my eyes, I find them absolutely gorgeous

Weird one...but I love my feet

I love my smile, always have always will

Along with my smile, I love my teeth! I just wish they were whiter.

Most days I love my hair but there are some days that I absolutely hate it. We can't always have good hair days.

I love my drive to succeed and be successful.

I love the child that is still in me, growing up sometimes suck.

I love my ability to love people and how much I can truly love someone, like my daughter. I've never known a love so strong.

I love my laugh and the little snort that makes it's way out every once in a while.

I know that there are other things out there that I do love about myself, I'm just having a hard time with this...because I'm so use to being a downer about myself and a lot of it has to do with image than personality.

please do link-up!

wee bit wednesday v.6

{one} what is your dream job?
I have two dream jobs. One, being Self-Employed doing Photography. Two, a Criminologist {think CSI or Criminal Minds}

{two} how many best friends do you have?
I have one best friend, Laura.

{three} what’s the longest road trip you’ve ever taken?
Driving to Florida from Wisconsin...

{four} if you had to do one single thing every day for the next year, what would it be?
Definitely work out. haha

{five} what’s one story your family always tells about you?
I was younger, maybe 8? and I wanted to take my hair out of it's pony tail but struggled to get the hair band out. I went out to ask my mom who was busy and said no. I decided to take matters into my own hand and cut.off.my.pony tail. I had to have a boy hair cut. It was horrible. I even hid my cut off hair under some shoes...like they wouldn't notice it was missing from my head.

{six} how did your parents pick your name?
I'm adopted so I don't know why they picked out Jessica. Either way, I've come to love it.

{seven} what’s the one thing that scares you more than anything?
Losing my daughter.

{eight} are you a good cook?
At times I am, but I alse eff up a lot. Practice makes perfect. Last night I made these babies.

red peppers stuffed with italian breakfast sausage (we had no other meat) tamato sauce, garlic powder, salt/pepper, italian seasoning and parmesan cheese. It was delicious.

{nine} where do you see yourself in 20 years?
Married with another kiddo living in a beautiful or run down house. Either way, I know I'll be happy.

{ten} what’s your best childhood memory?
Swimming in the lake that my parents live on with my child hood best friend. Those were the days.

our weekend

This weekend was definitely one of my favorites in a while. There was a ton of family time, movie time and then a whole lot of baby time. Of course. There was even a lot of fussiness mixed in with the giggles and cookouts but that didn't stop us from enjoying every second of it...even if we did have a screaming baby.

Laila went swimming in a big pool for the first time. Poor girl wasn't to sure about this big scary and semi cold place so she would try to crawl up her daddy.

She eventually warmed up when the kids gave her some toys to play with and as long as she was moving, she was content.

It was a great time and after swimming we cooled down with some delicious gold fish...she loves those things.

baby feet are just adorable!

I love weekends like these. They remind me what's important and family gatherings give me a great excuse to pig out. Lets just say I ate too much ice cream cake and chocolate eclair cake. But since then I've been working my butt off with P90X and Jillian Michaels.

Re-lactation Update

It's been months since I've done a re-lactation post and it's been FIVE months since I've started this process/journey. And let me just tell ya, this has been the best decision I have made for myself and for my daughter.

I'm so incredibly proud of myself for even going this long because I have had a lot of ups and downs. I've dealt with an incredible amount of loneliness due to constantly being hooked up to my pump. I've felt like a horrible mother for pumping instead of playing with my daughter and no mother should ever feel like that but...it happens. I've dealt with pumping too much milk {40+ ounces} to pumping not enough milk.

But I was always able get through it, and those hard times made me really realize how much I loved giving my daughter breast milk and made me realize that I want to try and go until she is 1. Sometimes, I think I'm crazy for wanting to go that long pumping but I'm just not ready to give it up and I really want to try and stay off of formula.

Where I am at now: Things are rough right now. I am almost out of domperidone and won't receive my next stash for another 2 weeks and my supply is slowly dropping. I'm trying to pump as much as possible but there is only so much pumping I can do before I want to run the thing over. I'm kind of kicking myself in the arse right now because just a week ago, I was dumping milk because I had absolutely no where to store it. Stupid mistake on my part. It does helps immensely that Laila drinks water, juice and is also on solid foods. If I didn't have those three things, I would have to give her formula. I'll get through it, I know I will!

Our 4th of July and Life Lately

Hey!

July 4th has come and gone {and so has my 3 day weekend} and I hope everyone had a great break. Our 4th consisted of a neighborhood cookout/bonfire with some to-die-for beef tenderloin, beans, and baked potatoes. I didn't take any pictures of the food, probably because it all disappeared in a couple minutes. Ah, it was soooo good. I probably gained 5 pounds.

The weather cooperated and Laila got to use her pool with water for the first time, and boy, did she enjoy it. She's such a water baby!

{I wasn't brave enough to take my fancy camera near water}

It was so nice to just sit outside, eat, relax and chit chat. We all had a great time and luckily myself and Laila did not get burnt.

{the dress she is wearing is size 0-3 months..ya, she's a peanut!}

Did I mention she is 7 months old, yup. And this is what she has been doing lately.

Crawling! This lady is on the go and I find myself having a hard time keeping up. One second she is right next to me and all of the sudden she is one the other side of the room!

She's also been pulling herself up on everything. The laundry basket, coffee table, entertainment center, her swing and jumperoo and the best one...our legs!

It's time for us to do some serious baby proofing around our house. *Breath*