Vents

Out of EVERYTHING that comes with having a newborn, breastfeeding is definitely the scariest for me but it’s something that I’ve known I’ve always wanted to do. But now that I am pregnant I can’t stop panicking of the thought that I will fail at it. What if my supply doesn’t come in? What if she doesn’t latch? What if I can’t get comfortable with the feeling or get use to it? How will I deal with having to pump while still working a full time job? I’m always asking “What If” and I’m really starting to dig myself into a bigger hole.

I’ve even started reading “The Nursing Mothers Companion” which by the way is a freaking amazing book with a ton of useful information! I’ll be taking a breastfeeding class later on and I’m trying to get a ton of information from people who have breastfed but I feel like nothing is “enough” for me. I’m seriously terrified that I WON’T be able to breastfeed or that I will fail.

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I find pregnancy to be an amazing and beautiful experience. But I didn’t think I would have such a hard time adjusting to the body changes. I HATE gaining weight. I HATE stretch marks. I HATE feeling ugly and fat. Right now I’m not comfortable with my body and at times I even find myself hiding from Justin because I’m embarrassed. I have NO confidence whatsoever.

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