Failed Induction

November 15, 2010
At this point in my pregnancy, I was no longer working and was on strict orders to take it easy due to pregnancy induced hypertension. On November 15, 2010, I had an appointment to see my doctor to discuss my most recent 24 urine test and NST.

My protein results came back completely normal, which my doctor and I were both very excited about. Laila looked perfect on the monitor and I was not dilated at all.  Laila was not ready to come out, at all. The bad news, my blood pressure had spiked to 143/98. Next thing I knew, my doctor was telling me that Laila needs to come out because of my blood pressure, she was worried I would develop preeclampsia, since earlier one, I was already showing signs.

I was…freaked to say the least. I wasn’t expecting to be induced this early on; my due date wasn’t until December 7, 2010.

I gave Justin a call and gave him the details of what was happening…and going to happen. Justin and I were completely unprepared for this to happen. I still had to finish laundry, that I had started that morning, sterilize my breast pump, nuks and bottles. We didn’t even have our car seat base in the car and our bags weren’t packed.

Once I fully comprehended what was going on, I headed home to sort some stuff out. I managed to take a relaxing shower, pack our bags, and clean. Justin put the base into the car and we finally headed to the hospital around 3pm, 3 ½ hours after my appointment.

I walked into the hospital, hand in hand with Justin, nervous and excited at the same time. It felt so great to know that by on November 16, 2010 my daughter would (should) be born. The check-in lady was so kind to us, trying to calm my nerves. We were taken up to our room and I was asked to change into the oh-so-beautiful gowns and was then hooked up to the monitors and an IV was placed into my hand. Justin called my mom and let her in on the news.

Around 4pm, my nurse Stacey, who was also pregnant, came in and inserted cervidil to help “ripen” my cervix. Once that was placed, I was to stay in bed for 2 hours. After 2 hours passed, I was able to walk around freely with the monitor still attached.

The rest of that night was pretty uneventful, Justin and I just spent time in our room and watched what was on TV and ate a delicious meal from Subway.  And then, my cold came back, the one that took about a month to finally disappear and it came back full force. I couldn’t breathe out of my nose and my throat was itchy, my whole entire body felt like it was on fire, just extremely hot. I was more than miserable and I didn’t want to feel like this while giving birth to Laila. I wasn’t allowed to have medicine until the next day, I just had to wait it out and see if I would get better on my own.

By 9 o’clock, Justin and I fell asleep. Sleeping was not comfortable, I was tossing and turning and had a hard time getting comfortable. I missed the comfort of my own bed. And every time Laila’s heartbeat disappeared off the monitor, a nurse came in to re adjust the monitor.

November 16, 2010

Around 3:50 am, my new nurse Shelly came in to take out the cervidil that was inserted the day before. The cervidil didn’t help at all and I was not dilated one bit. I showered and waiting for a new medicine to be inserted, cytotec, which happened around 5:30 am. This dose was to be inserted every 3 hours. I went back to bed and was woken up at 7:30 am.

Justin continued to sleep because I wanted to make sure he was well rested as well. We both knew it was going to be a long day. I watched TV and around 8:30 am, Justin woke up and my mom came to keep us company. By this time, 3 hours had passed and I was given another dose of cytotec.

The first round of cytotec didn’t seem to do anything to my body but the second round did cause some pain from the contractions but it wasn’t anything that wasn’t manageable. I enjoyed a nice breakfast, biscuit and pancakes. Eating was…difficult, since I had to be lying down or on my side. After the hour had passed, I was free to walk around; I was having contractions every 2-3 minutes.

My third dose was inserted at 11:30 am and I was ready to go back to bed at this point but I couldn’t sleep because of my miserable cold that still lingered. This round of cytotec was much more intense, as it’s supposed to be. My contractions were getting stronger and sitting up quickly became uncomfortable.

Time passed, time for the fourth dose, 2:30 pm. Justin’s mom showed up and spent some time with us, my mom was also there. We walked around, talked, and overall just tried to relax. I wasn’t able to relax though because this fourth dose was the most uncomfortable. My contractions hurt and I was just sore.

3 hours passed, slowly and it was time for yet another dose at 5:30 pm. But, this dose was not inserted, they held off because after everything I’d been through and after all the doses, I was only a fingertip dilated. I was pretty hurt because I had barely made any progress. I was starting to feel like a failure because my daughter was suppose to be born a couple hours before this and yet, she was still an inside baby.

My doctor, Dr. Jayne came in and gave me some options. They could give me the next dose and see how I progress, if I’m doing better, I can stay. If not, I would be sent home the next day (Wednesday) I told her to give me the next dose because I was determined to make this work but after she stepped out, I completely broke down.

I couldn’t control the tears. I was miserable from my cold and felt horrible for not progressing. I didn’t want to keep going and forcing my body to go into labor when clearly, it was just not ready too. I wanted to go home, to sleep in my own bed, and to get rid of this horrible cold. I wanted to give birth to Laila while I was not sick and when my body and she were ready.

I let Justin head home for a bit to let our dog out, we only live about 5-10 minutes ago. This gave me some time to talk to my mom about my decision to not get another dose and head home. I called my nurse in and told her what I wanted to do and she completely agreed. My doctor was on board with this idea as well. There was no point in fighting with Mother Nature when my body wasn’t ready and there was no point of doing a c-section since my blood pressure was consistently lower while I was there.

I called Justin and told him that we’d be heading home and to come back. I started packing up our bags while the nurse got my discharge paperwork together.

Walking out of the hospital was bitter-sweet for Justin and I. I thought we’d be leaving with her outside of my belly but it just wasn’t time and there was no point in fighting it. Laila will be born when she is ready.

November 17, 2010

We’re back home, I’m still sick and having painful contractions from all the doses of medicine that were given to me while at the hospital.

I’m still upset about the induction failing but my body couldn’t keep up.