I'll be leaving but coming back..

 My heart is breaking at this very moment...

On Friday, I leave my daughter for the very first time and I'm having a hard time dealing with the fact that I won't be seeing her till Sunday and who knows what time. I won't be the one bathing her, putting her in her snuggly pajamas and reading her a bedtime story. I won't be able to give her a kiss and a hug, say sweet dreams and kiss her some more. I won't be able to listen to the sound of her fan and breathing over the monitor, the wonderful sound that I fall asleep to every night. I won't be able to sneak in her room and check on her in the middle of the night after a bathroom break. I won't be the one getting up with her, watch cartoons, eat breakfast and play. I won't be able to be with my baby till Sunday and I'm struggling with this.

Maybe I should get to the point of WHY I won't be seeing her. I'm going to Ohio to visit my sister, Leah. I'm stoked to see her since I don't see her that often but at the same time, my heart breaks because I've never been away from Laila...especially overnight.

Justin and I debated back and fourth on me taking her along but the end result was a no :[ I'm terrified to have her fly on a plane..I have this mindset that something is going to go wrong...I feel more comfortable with her staying home with her daddy. Plus, he really wants alone time with her.

I don't know how I'm going to make it...I'm going to cry while I wave bye bye to her :[ It's natural for me. Have I mentioned I cry, like a lot?? Especially lately...

I'm teaching Justin how to Skype before I leave, that's a must because I will NEED to see her somehow and what better way than Skype?! I wish leaving for a couple days would be easier but I just have to remember that I will be back and I'll get to see her smile and laugh all over again.

And of course, what's a post without a picture? Here she is. ALMOST one :]