Working or Staying Home

A couple weeks ago, I was chit chatting on the phone with a client at work. He brought up my daughter, asked how she was doing and then continued to say "oh, your one of those moms." Ya know, the mom that wakes up bright and early, scrambles to get her kid(s) ready, and works long days. Yes guy, I am one of those moms because I need to make a living as well.

I was so furious, but continued to be kind to him, professional. When really, I was just wanted to yell at him. What gives him the right to judge me for working full-time? Sometimes, it just has to be done. I honestly believe he didn't mean for any of it to be rude and he probably didn't think he would upset me, either. But he did.

I can't stop thinking about that comment that was made. I don't want to be that mom. I want to be able to stay home with Laila, make home-made play dough or finger paint. I want to watch her grow and learn, I don't want to miss anything that happens.

But a decision like this is BIG for our family. We'll lose my income, unless I pick up babysitting other kids and I think having once income scares us. What if Justin lost his job or a car broke down? Or our roof needs replacing? Big decisions...grown up decisions, still scare me. I also have guilt for potentially putting all the financially responsibility on Justin. It just isn't fair to him.

I vent to Justin and a lot about this and he always has the same reply, "do what makes YOU happy, Jessica; I will stand behind you."

It's a tough decision but everything in me wants to stay home with Laila and I'm pretty confident that it can happen, in a couple months.