sleep.

Sleep was always a touchy subject for us. I got tired of hearing all these new parents brag about their 1 month old sleeping thru the night. I desperately missed sleep and was getting more irratated and felt unlucky. Selfish of me, right?

But now that my daughter is 9 1/2 months old, things are 100% better. She doesn't need a bottle to go to bed, she doesn't need her swing, or to be held and cuddled, she doesn't need her pacifier, she doens't need to sleep in our room.

Before, she needed all that and sometimes more. We would give her a bath, read a story or play with a couple toys, give her her bottle and swing her to sleep. It worked perfectly, but I think we were forcing her to go to bed when she wasn't completely ready, which could have been the reasoning for her always waking up in the middle of the night. Or maybe we weren't keeping her active enough. But, I could be completely wrong. Those babies work in mysterious ways.

And now, things are amazing. She no longer is in our room and this was the toughest part for me, not waking up 4+ times in the middle of the night. I hated not having her right there in her pack n play or in our bed. But, I think the noise in our room was affecting her sleep, in a poor way. So, after much much talking, we decided to move her to her own room. And this has been the best decision, for ourselves and Laila. She sleeps much more peacefully and longer (which is a plus) and most nights, she doesn't wake up in the middle of the night. But, for the first couple of days, she was waking up 4+ times a night. I wouldn't pick her up, I would lay her on her back, rub her forehead and sing her a lullaby. 10 seconds later, she was out. This was repeated numerous times a night and eventually she got the hang of it.

Last night, on our way home from grocery shopping, she feel asleep. I had to wake her up because she desperately needed a bath. So, I got her bath all ready, took her out of the carseat, undressed her and sat her in the tub. She looked at me like I was nuts for waking her up. Which I was, but my baby was dirrtttyyy. Bath ended, Laila was dressed and in her crib she went. No crying, no paci. Nothing. She just went to sleep. She's able to put herself to sleep now and most of the time, she doesn't even cry. She coos. So adorable.

So, all in all. Sleep is going great with Laila and myself. But, I'm a little nervous to see if this will continue once we move into our new house...in 2 weeks!!!

sleep situation/issues

I'm beat, tired, exhausted, zombified...is that a word? It is, and yes, I looked it up. I want to take a nap, a very nice long uninterruped nap. I feel guilty for saying that but it's true. I miss sleep every.single.day but I would give it up over and over and over again just so I could spend time with my daughter.

Whine. But last night was rough. Wait, beyond rough. Back to the beginning. I'm tired, someone slap me in the face. Or get me some coffee...or both.

Laila went to sleep around 7:30, woke up around 8:30, had a 3 ounce bottle and zoinked back to sleep. I can't remember what time it was but she woke back up. I figured she wanted more to eat, so I fed her. She ate 3 ounces and went back to sleep. I put her in her pack n play and she tossed and turned for quite some time.

She had a hard time falling asleep, staying asleep and getting comfortable. Maybe I can blame it on her horrible cold or maybe she's teething. She didn't want much. I got her to sleep but around 3 she woke up again and stayed up til 4:30. I rocked her and even tried moving her to sleep in her crib, thinking her pack n play just wasn't cutting it anymore. She actually did pretty well in there. Fell asleep around 4:30 but then woke up with me at 5:15.

Maybe that doesn't sound too bad and really it isn't but I'm just tired. Nights like that really get to me because I have to get up at the butt crack of dawn to get ready for work. Plus, I really just didn't know what was going on with my baby. I felt horrible.

I think tonight we are going to try and put her to sleep in her crib instead of in her pack n play. Maybe she will sleep better in her own room. And in all honesty, I really don't want her in her own room yet. I'll miss hearing her breath and move around, the sound of her little whimpers. I won't be able to just sit up and look over at her. I have a feeling it won't last, though. I'll need her next to me and Justin knows it too. He even told me HE wasn't ready to have Laila in her own room, that he enjoys waking up to her right there. Le sigh.

The whole situation just puts me in tears. But seeing this face everyday, snaps me back to my happy self.

a sleeping baby..

is too freakin' adorable. and most mornings when I wake up, she's on her side or belly..

ah, too cute.

My Night Owl

Just when our nights were starting to get better, Laila decided to start waking up twice a night to eat. When she is done with her second bottle, she doesn't want to go back to bed. She wants to stay up, chit chat and play with her feet.

This has lead to complete and total exhaustion for me because I get up at 5 a.m. for work.

I'm not sure if it's the 4 month wakeful period, teething, hunger, or simply because she stopped sleeping in bed with us.

And last night was THE worst, ever!

It started out with Laila's bath, which she loves. She loves her ducky, the warm water with bubbles surrouding her. It's soothing and is an excellent way to prepare her for bedtime.

I dressed her, prepared her bottle. And BAM! She starts screaming, kicking, punching and nothing would calm her down. And that part was normal for Justin and I because we've experienced it a lot but when we offered her her bottle, she woudn't take it. She continued to kick and scream and throw some punches at Justin and I.

She eventually fell asleep in Daddy's arms and was put in her pack n play to sleep. Around 10 o'clock she awoke with some wimpers so I simply pat her belly and put her paci back in her mouth and she was out like a light.

I laid there, remembering she hadn't had a bottle since 3:30 p.m. and I'm sure she is starving so I decided to go and prepare a bottle for her since I figured she would be back up soon enough to eat.

Midnight came and Laila woke up, crying as loud as ever. I picked her up and offered her the bottle and she would NOT take it! She was so upset and I had NO idea why. Instead, I gave her her paci and she calmed down. I was exhausted but apparently, she wasn't. She wanted to stay awake and eat her feet.

So we stay awake. Until 2:45 a.m. Around 2:30 I offered her another bottle since she was getting upset again. This time she took it, but nothing was coming out. I could hear her sucking but not swallowing and the bottle was still filled with 4 ounces of breast milk, just like it was 1 minute ago.

Turns out, the nipple was clogged and I had no idea :[ Poor Laila. I quickly snatched another nipple and replaced the old one and everything was all better. After her bottle, she went to bed.

5 o'clock came quickly and I was completely exhausted. Heck, I'm still exhausted.

I just don't know to do, what to think. What is going on with my baby? I don't understand why she all the sudden wants to constantly wake up in the middle of night and have a par-tay? (She started this Sunday night)

I've heard people say to put rice cereal in her bedtime bottle, but I'm just not ready for that. Although, I'm starting to think she is..I'm just not..that's another thing that is reminding me that my beautiful baby is growing up everyday.

And on top of that, I worked my butt off to be able to produce barely half an ounce to producing 30 ounces, and I want her to be on breast milk as long as possible.

Any ladies have advice? I really miss those long 6 hour stretches of sleep.

LC

I met with an LC today. Sabrina. She came to my house and even brought her adorable daughter along. Can you believe she breastfed her daughter for FOUR years. That's amazing. Something I could NEVER do! 

Her and I are working on Laila's latch..or lack there-of. We even used my Medela SNS (supplemental nursing system). Which is a PITA. The thing is just so complicated and takes a lot of time and dedication to use, in my opinion.

When we first tried to use it, Laila just screamed. She got so incredibly angry at us, it was unbelievable. I felt terrible. Heartbroken. My baby will never latch :[ 

We took a little break and gave it another shot. The second time she latched on and drank some breast milk (from the tubing) She did that for about a minute and then she got extremely upset because the flow stopped working and nothing was coming out. 

I almost started crying. I can't describe how I felt. To see her suckling. Ah. I miss it already. 

We tired a couple more time after that but she was not interested. She was tired and cranky and wanted nothing to do with my boob for the rest of the day. Which is understandable. This process takes time. I can't expect her to catch on right away. It's a learning process for the both of us. 

Not to mention, I had know idea how to hold her while nursing. I completely forgot everything. 

Sabrina is coming over tomorrow and bringing me a more efficient pump. The Medela PISA. I'm pretty excited to see how this sucker works. 

Other things going on. 

I got my new Canon Rebel XSI in the mail the other day along with my new 50mm f1.8 lens. It's freaking awesome. I'm in love. Although, I have no clue how to use it but I'm learning. I'll post some pictures once I put them on my computer. 

Being back at work is hard. Stressful. Sad. Boring. Fun. Lonely. Eh. I missed working but I miss my daughter even more. I have a hard time concentrating because I'm wondering what she is up to and how she is doing. This leads me to call my mother and in home sitter quite often. But she does fantastic and I love seeing her smile when I wake in the door. Makes my day much brighter. 

Laila went to bed last night at 8 pm and did not wake up till 4 am for a bottle. So, she slept 8 straight hours. This was heaven!!!! After her bottle, she slept till 7:30 and we were then both up for the day. I forgot what it was like to sleep 7 straight hours. {Yes I went to bed at 9pm on a Saturday, L and I actually feel asleep on the couch together.}

Our water heater keeps turning off. Bummer. We called our landlord about it a couple days ago and he never called us back. At 4 am when I made a bottle for Laila, all we had was ice cold water. Not cool. So, Justin called our landlord again. No answer. But he called us back within a few minutes. They came over a couple hours ago and replaced the piece of junk. Hopefully, this means our hot water will last longer than 5 minutes. :]

On that note, I'm going to go shower.

rawr.

I haven't blogged in forever. Couple days at least. I've just been busy.

I started work. :[

40 freaking hours. 8 hours a day.

Up at 5. Home at 3:30.

I've been tired. Drained. Worn out.

Luckily, Laila decided to start sleeping for 5 hours straight at night and then another 4.

This makes me very happy. But I still feel tired.

The process of relactating has been hard but so worth it.

No, I don't have a full supply, yet. But I've started taking Fenugreek and am waiting on my prescription of Domperidone.

In addition to that, I'm pumping every 2 hours. Which is EXHAUSTING.

But it's nice to get a 15 minute break every 2 hours at work. Although, I feel weird pumping at work.

Oh well, got to do what ya got to do.

Justin and I are about to watch Avatar so I must get off.