Pumpkin Patch

Last week (or 2 weeks ago) Justin, Laila and I visited a local Pumpkin Patch. We went just to grab some pictures and watch Laila have a good time. We didn't need to buy any pumpkins this year because my parents grew there own and were kind enough to hand over three to us. So nice of them. Enjoy the over load of pictures :]

This day was overall AWESOME and Laila had a blast, which was the point of going. We did buy her a minature pumpkin, which she just wanted to eat. Sooo..it's now being used for decoration. Haha. I can't wait to go there during winter and see the Christmas trees. I'm not into the real ones because the tend to give me hives. But it'll be awesome to see this place all decorated with Christmas decor. Ah, I cannot wait.

Photography

Photography never use to be a passion of mine, in fact, I never really cared to take a single picture. I'd snap photos here and there of random things going on in my life but didn't give photography a second thought.

Then I got pregnant, and then Laila was born, and oh my gosh, I knew I had to get a DSLR and capture every breath taking moment of my daughters life. I eventaully got one when she was maybe a month or two old.

My camera scared me, intrigued me, I wanted to learn more but at the same time, I was afraid to use it. What if I managed to break it, afterall, I am clumsy.

Anyways, there is always this huge huge part of me that wants to venture out with my camera and become something more, something greater with it. Maybe start a business? I always tell Justin, "I wish I could be a pro photographer and stay home"

I highly doubt I will ever get there because I am not that great! I try to read up but finding the time can be HARD. Ah, excuses are lame.

To help me learn, I started taking the Proud Photography Course. I originally saw it on DPS.com (which is an awesome sight, thanks Sonya!) I wanted to learn more and I love anything online. Buuttttt, I am only on lesson 1 and I joined MONTHS ago, I just haven't had the time. But now, you bet your butt, I am going to get learning with that class. And so far, I do love it. The site it easy to use and it's very informative. I just have to stick to my plan and finish it, especially since I did pay for it!

Lets hope I can stick to this, because I have a love for photography. I want to capture those beautiful moments in my life, in others lives. I just need to start small and stick to my class, oh, and get out there and take pictures!!



**I was not paid or perked in any way to talk about the Proud Photograhy Course**

Body Issues

I'm in such a crappy mood with my weight. I hate the number I see on the scale, I hate the way my body looks. I feel unhealthy and disgusting. There is no such thing as confidence in my world, that all went out the window. And I don't blame it on pregnancy at all. It was my choice to eat the foods I did, to sit on my arse and be lazy.

Ya, I would diet and workout for a while but then all motivation disappeared. I was tired of working out and restricting myself. yada yada yada. But now, I regret it all because I feel like a big pile of mush. I have no self control, I don't know correctly, what's good and bad. Yes, eat veggies, fruits, and lean meats instead of sweets. I know that.

Currently, I have P90X, Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shread, and Jillian Michaels No More Trouble Zones.

Tell me, what are your favorite healthy recipes, workouts, tips, motivational stuff? I could use all the help.

Good thing Pinterest is amazing!


Here are some of my motivational pins

Source: losing30lbsincollege.tumblr.com via Jessica on Pinterest

Source: noskinnybitcheshere.tumblr.com via Jessica on Pinterest

Source: get-thinspiration.tumblr.com via Jessica on Pinterest

Source: None via Jessica on Pinterest

I'm hoping I will have the strength, the courage, to actually get where I want to be.

All About Laila: 10 months!

Laila turned 10 months about 15 days ago and I am know just posting about. Bloggers block? I think so, I've had it for months, what can I say, I've been occupied...

Laila is growing up so quick, right before my eyes. Everyday she is learning something new, saying something new, and it just shocks me. I miss my little baby that slept in my arms all day, she needed me to do everything for her and now...she is so independent, she's her own little person. But, no matter what, she still needs me and no matter what, I'll always be there for her.

Laila is 19 pounds, we currently know this because we had to take her into the doctor for another cold, but this one was bad. She had a fever, double ear infection, runny nose, cough...you name it. You could tell she was just miserable because all she did was sleep and refuse to eat or drink. Laila is almost 100 % better. Woohoo! (Just this past weekend 10/15, Laila had another fever and spent most of her day sleeping on me, I have no idea what is going on!)

She is wearing anything from 6 months to 12 months, big girl! She can no longer fit into anything that is 3 months, which she could for a while. Still in size 3 diapers.

This month we had to switch Laila to formula because of supply issues and stress. *Sigh* Laila almost always refuses to drink the formula, she just isn't into it. We're able to get her to drink a 6 oz bottle in the morning and sometimes at night. During the day, she doesn't want it. She'll maybe drink 3 ounces throughout the whole day. I called my doctor, who told me to continue to try and get her to drink it and to keep her hydrated with water and continue with the solids.

Speaking of solids, Laila is a champ at eating. She eats anything in her sight, she doesn't care what it is, she'll try it. She loves bananas, waffles, those Gerber snack trays, noodles, apples/applesauce. Really, I can get her to eat anything. I hope this stays this way when she gets older. Oh ya, Laila has 8 teeth, 4 bottom 4 top.

Laila is constantly on the move. She'll crawl or push around her toys with her butt in the air. And my favorite of all of them...WALKING! My baby can walk. I was always scared for this day, because it just meant she was getting bigger and I was worried there would be more falls and boo-boos. She can't hold her balance the greatest yet, so she does tend to land on her butt or hands first.

Laila is still sleeping in her crib from night to morning. Bedtime is now around 7:30 sometimes 8, depending on her last nap. She wakes up around 6:30 and is completely ready for the day. Ever since we moved, she has started sleeping completely thru the night, but she has her flukes.

Laila's vocabulary is kind of picking up. She is still saying mom, dada, papa, baba, hi, bye, it sounds like she is saying doggy but it could be something totally different. It also sounds like she says shit...ugh, can she really pick that up at this young of an age? I definitely try to watch my language around her, just in case.

Laila is still in love with the dog, Mykenzie. They're BFF's - sort of - not really. Only in Laila's eyes.

Laila is not shy at all, she will smile and talk to you no matter what. She just loves to interact with other people, especially other kids. But no matter who you are, she'll talk to you.

Loves:
Baths
Staring out the huge living room window
Waiting by the front door for daddy to come home
Strawberries
Remotes
Wall scents (ah!)
Being tickled, mostly behing her ears, neck and armpits
Hide and seek
Laps around the house

Happy 10 months, Laila. Mommy and Daddy love you so much and can't wait to see you grow up some more!

I really suck at taking pictures lately :[ I will regret that.

saying goodbye

After much much debate, I have stopped pumping for Laila at the ten month mark. I have to say, the decision was SO hard for me. *tears*

I'm going to miss taking those short breaks at work to pump, I'm going to miss the closeness pumping gave me, I'm going to miss giving my daughter the best nutrients possible (breastfeeding is definitely NOT the only way to give your child the best nutrients possible though)

Why I stopped? The move definitely put a lot of stress on my supply and I just could not find the time to pump and having to deal with that for a couple of days, didn't help very much. I ran out of Domperidone, the BIGGEST reason I was even able to re-lactate and I did order some but it was just too late and my supply wasn't able to hold (I still haven't received that shipment of Domperidone, normally takes about 2 weeks to get) And honestly, I was tired of feeling like I spent more time with my pump, than with my daughter. But stress played a huge part in my decision and I suppose I have to be proud of myself for even re-lactating in the first place and pumping for over 8 months, but a part of me feels...shameful, guilty, so incredibly bad.

Overall, deciding to stop pumping, has been hard and very emotional for me, and I'm definitely still in the process of stopping. Hello engorement.

But who knows, maybe after a week or two, I'll decide I made a huge mistake and try to get my supply back...once again.