Oct 4, 2011

saying goodbye

After much much debate, I have stopped pumping for Laila at the ten month mark. I have to say, the decision was SO hard for me. *tears*

I'm going to miss taking those short breaks at work to pump, I'm going to miss the closeness pumping gave me, I'm going to miss giving my daughter the best nutrients possible (breastfeeding is definitely NOT the only way to give your child the best nutrients possible though)

Why I stopped? The move definitely put a lot of stress on my supply and I just could not find the time to pump and having to deal with that for a couple of days, didn't help very much. I ran out of Domperidone, the BIGGEST reason I was even able to re-lactate and I did order some but it was just too late and my supply wasn't able to hold (I still haven't received that shipment of Domperidone, normally takes about 2 weeks to get) And honestly, I was tired of feeling like I spent more time with my pump, than with my daughter. But stress played a huge part in my decision and I suppose I have to be proud of myself for even re-lactating in the first place and pumping for over 8 months, but a part of me feels...shameful, guilty, so incredibly bad.

Overall, deciding to stop pumping, has been hard and very emotional for me, and I'm definitely still in the process of stopping. Hello engorement.

But who knows, maybe after a week or two, I'll decide I made a huge mistake and try to get my supply back...once again.

3 lovely comments:

kelsey said...

it sounds soooo weird but CABBAGE LEAVES! my obgyn always swears by putting cabbage leaves in your bra to dry your milk up! no idea why but i trust her with my life! and dont feel bad. you went above and beyond with pumping - you did more most women would! be proud of yourself!

Sarah said...

good job mama!! you should be very proud you made it that far!! you did what worked for you and your little girl and you should NOT feel guilty! I breastfed but have to pump once a day bc little one takes one bottle from my mom when I work (only 4 days a week for 3 hours a day) I hate even that one pumping session and feel as though i would formula feed if i had to pump anymore so kuddos to you for doing it for so long!

Jess said...

You are amazing. I gave up on exclusively pumping after only 9 weeks!