don't stop believing.

For the past week or so I've been feeling fine. No pregnancy symptoms. It's like I woke up one morning and they all just disappeared. It's scary and in all honesty, I would prefer to feel pregnant, but I don't. I feel normal. During this time, I don't want to feel normal. I want to feel pregnant. I was worried something was wrong.

My mother woke up one morning with no pregnancy symptoms, a couple days later, she lost the baby. Losing the baby has been one of my big concerns ever since I found out I was pregnant and when I woke up one morning with NO pregnancy symptoms, I was scared shitless. I don't have my appointment until May 4th and I needed to ease my mind, to know everything was OK! I called me doctor, who did tell me this was normal but I could go in to get checked out if I decided to.

And that's what I did, I went in to make sure everything was OK. I even brought my mother with me, just in case...It was definitely something that I didn't want to do alone. I was laying on the bed for what seemed like an eternity while the nurse tried to located a heartbeat. Couple seconds later, there was a flicker. The smallest most fastest flicker ever. My little baby was just fine. Healthy with a beautiful beating heart. I wanted to cry. I couldn't have been any happier. 

xo.
me.

7 weeks 3 days

How far along? 7 weeks 3 days
Weight gain/loss: none
Maternity clothes? just the beband for my super tight jeans
Stretch marks? same ones i previously had, much more noticeable on my boobs now. :/
Sleep? what's sleep? I have night sickness
Best moment this week? getting my pants I ordered :]
Food cravings? subway and sweets but I've lost my appetite. It's hard for me to eat.
Gender: don't know yet.
Belly button in/out? innie.
Movement? just gas. lol
What I miss? a good nights sleep.
What I'm looking forward to: getting past the first trimester, finding out the gender!!
Weekly wisdom: today I am pregnant!
Milestones: just seeing the heartbeat

Nursery Ideas

I've been looking at nursery ideas like crazy lately, mainly because work is really slow and I just can't help myself.  I've already put together my nursery idea for a girl! I did the girl nursery first because I new it was going to be so much easier for me.  I can't wait to put my ideas together for a boy :] Here's some items I have liked so far for a little girl.

Deciding on a color was extremely hard. I knew what I wanted in a crib and it was pretty hard for me to find. I knew I wanted a crib that changed into a crib, toddler bed, and eventually just a regular bed. I always wanted a crib with a sold back. I originally wanted an espresso colored crib and found one that I fell in love with but the price on it was ridiculous, priced at $400 and then $500 total with shipping/handling. That was wayy out of my price range! So, I decided on this, white wasn't my original plan but we figured we would go with white. 

Next we HAD to have a dresser because our spare bedroom does not have a closet. We didn't want to buy a changing table/dresser because those were also extremely expensive, so we decided on just a regular dresser from Ikea that can be used as a changing table as well. 

 There are soo many different websites out there that have crib bedding sets and I've probably looked at a million of them. I liked this one because it was brown, pink, orange and had some green. A variety of colors is definitely something that I wanted. Just to make it more interesting :]

I found these paper lanterns that I thought would be pretty neat to hang for decoration. They only have pink, white and green so I was going to get one of each. Cool looking storage baskets to put on the wall shelf and bookshelf for extra things that can be hidden. Orange, pink and brown so they match the bedding set.

Now I get to decide on boy stuff :] I'm pretty excited! 

xo.

ME

blah blah bloopity

I have 1.5 hours left at work and I am miserable.
*My bra is wayy too tight, even though I losened it all the way earlier
*I'm extremely warm, warm to the point where I feel like my breathing is unsteady
*I'm exhausted, no surprise there
*I'm shaky :[
*I have to fart, no joke
*I can't stop eating my dove chocolate ice cream bars, I'll be dissapointed once they're all gone
*I can't stop thinking I'm going to miscarry, it seriously occupies my thoughts and stresses me out
*I wish I had more money. I've already spend $350 on groceries, $110 on jeans because I now have one freaking pair that fit, at least $500 for a decent air conditioner that cools our whole apartment, and $300 for our Uverse bill. It blows.
*I think I just gave myself a headache :/
*Blah blah blah
*I can't focus

Work has been so slow this weekend, so, to keep my self occupied I've been constantly looking up baby stuff and things I plan on buying. There are soo many neat crafty artsy things out there and I just can't wait to get my hands on them.

I'm dying, I have to turn the air conditioner on. I feel like passing out. Don't worry, I am drinking plenty of water and I have an ice pack sitting on my boobs. I just can't help it.

xo.
ME

twenty things...

...
10 things I like about my body:
1. my limited amount of freckles
2. the way my hair sets after a shower once it's completely dry if I don't do anything with it
3. my small wrists
4. my hip bones
5. my belly button
6. my eyes
7. my back
8. my overly sized boobies
9. my lips
10. my bubble butt

10 things I like about my personality:
1. laid back.
2. my abilty to l.o.v.e
3. fast reader (which is awesome)
4. thoughtful
5. gracious
6. my ability to laugh at anything and everything
7. considerate
8. organized (sometimes) but I prefer it if I am
9. joyful
10. i'm pretty awesome

ultrasound

Our beautiful Baby! 

[even though it doesn't look like much]

My heart melted, no joke! It was such an amazing feeling seeing this tiny little thing inside of me. Justin and I also got to see the heart beating, which I was amazed at.  I don't know how to explain the feeling, I really don't. All I know is it was such an amazing, warm feeling of love and joy that rushed through my whole body. December 4th seems so far away. I don't want to wait that long. The doctor will call me in a couple days and let me know how far along I actually am. :]

April 13th
6 weeks 3 days.
The doctor and I have been playing phone tag but we finally got a hold of eachother. My ultrasound results were really good. Baby was measuring at 4.3 millimeters at 5 weeks and 4 days with a heartbeat of 109, my ovaries looked awesome, everything was just perfect!
Makes me much happier now that I know.

xo.
ME.

Lately..

I can't stand eating anymore. It's makes me feel so gross, like I am about to throw up (luckily I don't)...and then that feeling stays with me for the WHOLE entire day, and it's not just certain foods that make me feel quesy, it's ALL FOODS! It's really starting to get to me because my stomach is constantly growling. I hope this passes. I pray this passes.

I can't stand being in the car anymore. Being in a car with queasiness just doesn't help at all. It just makes me feel even more sick which sucks because I have to drive to work every morning and drive home every evening. I'd feel really embarrassed if I had to pull over to throw up. Not a pretty sight. I hope this passes. I pray this passes.

Easter was alright. Justin and I really didn't do too much. Saturday we went over to my parents to grill out! Which was delicious. It was really nice seeing my mom, dad, siblings, and my grandparents. I missed them all way too much! We decided to call my dad Grandpa Clint to see if my grandma or grandpa would catch on. My grandma caught on immediately. She was so excited, everyone seems to be so happy for Justin and I.

Easter day I went over to my other grandparents house. Everyone congratulated Justin and I when we walked in. It was a little bit akward but we managed. :] We didn't stay too long because I was really feeling sick and it started to rain. I love rain.

My books have arrived. I was so excited to see them. Although, I have yet to start reading them. I've been busy filling out What to Expect: Pregnancy Journal & Organizer. There so much information and cool little details I get to fill in as I progress through my pregnancy. I want to write it all down and remember each and every detail. I'm dorky like that. :]

Justin and I finally repainted our living room (for the 3rd time.) It use to be blue, now it's gray. It was really hard to pick out a color that matched with our other walls. Our kitchen is brown, bedroom is maroon/redish/really pretty color and our spare bedroom is light tan, so we decided on gray. It actually looks pretty awesome! Now Justin wants to paint the spare bedroom the same color as our bedroom, but I'm really hesitant on doing that since it will be the nursery and we have no clue what the gender of our baby will be. So for now, we are leavin it as is. Which I am completely fine with.

After I got to work this morning, I sat in my car and listened to the radio for a little while because I was 10 minutes early. Once it was time for me to go in...I forgot to turn my lights off :/ Now my battery is dead. Luckily, my dad has jumper cables because I don't know anyone who has any. My lovely mother already called him for me and told him to meet me at my work at 3:30 when I get out. Yay :] I'm so forgetful. It stinks.

My ultrasound is coming up and I couldn't be more excited! I know I won't see much, but to me that doesn't matter. As long as I see something, I'm sure my heart will melt. <3

I'll post a pic on Wednesday!!

xo.

Jessica