Mar 10, 2011

sadness.



I work full-time, exactly fourty hours.
Monday - Friday.
And every morning, I have to drop Laila off at my mom's house or the other sitters.
And every morning, I cry.

I feel like I shouldn't be leaving my daughter for 9 hours a day.
Nor do I want to.
I hate walking away from her. I should be the one taking care of her.

What if I miss something BIG?! I'll be devestated.
Ugh.

I've been really struggling with this and everybody tells me it gets easier but it's hasn't. It's been getting harder.

I just want my baby :[

7 lovely comments:

Short Leg Lucy said...

I'm so sorry, Jess :[ I can't even imagine

Ashlee said...

I'm sorry!!
That would be soo hard!
Hope at some point it gets better!!

Laura said...

I'm sorry. :( That must be really hard.

Wojtalewicz/Gierach Family said...

Aw Jess I'm sorry. Im praying for you!

Skye said...

Not sure what to say. For me, it did get easier. Do I miss Julianna every day while I work? Absolutely. But I (we) work so Julianna can have a future/ My husband and I count down the minutes until the weekend so we can spend every waking moment with her. It makes us appreicate our time together that much more... That's how I get through it.
What about talking to someone like a therapist? I don't mean to say that you are nuts- but sometimes it can help to talk to someone about how you feel and it might make it better down the road?

Leaners said...

I've honestly been dreading that part and my lil man isn't even here yet!
I've heard the same thing, "it gets easier". I think for me, part of it is that I know moms that get to stay home all day and watch and help their kids grow and I'm a little jealous of it. My sister-in-law gets to stay home and she watches her neighbor's kid, when he was getting close to walking she pretty much prayed every night that he would take his first steps at home and not with her. So I guess there are two sides of the coin.
I hope it gets better for you! I'll be thinking of you and your precious little one! :)

Sarah Lynn said...

I hear you ! I work 40 hours, some days 12 hour shifts, some day 8 hours. It never gets easy, esp when my grandparents act like brayden is theirs now. Ill go to their house after work and he will need to be fed, and instead of letting me do it they insist they have to. They also have to give him a bath, change him, and get him ready for bed all before i get there so once i do get there to pick him up, i get to watch them feed him so they can put him in the carseat so he can sleep on the ride home, and the whole night.

Its never fun, never easy, and even i cant tell you when this is going to get any better. But, you gotta do what you gotta do :(