Dec 21, 2010

30 Days..Slacking

I've been a slacker. Sorry! But, life is busy...and I completely forgot about it. 

Day 9. Someone you didn't want to let go, but just drifted. 
Not sure if this one counts because we reconnected after we drifted apart. But he sure is more than special to me :] 

Justin and I were close. Very close. We weren't dating, just friends. But I knew in my heart that I wanted him to be mine. I didn't know if he wanted the same thing, though. 

We spent all of our time together. Every moment that we could. I always waited to see his smile. Then one day, it all ended. I didn't hear from him and he didn't hear from me. 

More days past and we still had not spoken or seen each other. I was beyond devastated and heart broken.

Days, weeks, months went by. People continued to ask "Where's Justin?" Every time I heard that, I cried. 

Here I was, completely fallen for this guy, that just up and left
With him out of my life, I was a mess. I started drinking hardcore and smoking marijuana. I stayed out late and hung out with the wrong crowd. 

I didn't want to feel pain. I didn't want to have to deal with my emotions from Justin leaving. I tried to block it out as much as possible. 

Nothing helped. 

But one night, he decided to call me. I didn't recognize the number because I had decided to delete it...

He apologized but I didn't care. I didn't want to talk to him. Maybe it was because I was drunk. I didn't even know how to get a sentence out to him. All I did was cry. He didn't understand. 


He told me he loved me. Yes, the very first time he told me he loved me, I was a HUGE mess and didn't even tell him back. 

After that day, we had decided to spend some time together. 

I was with him for a couple hours when I just had to leave. It hurt too much to be in the same room with him. 

I just wasn't ready. Too many emotions hit me like a wave. So, I left and didn't know if I would ever see him again. 

But, of course I did. After that night. I just needed to see him. Couple days later, we spent time together. 

Oh, how I missed him. 

And here we are 3 years later. Completely in love.

Day 1. Something you hate about yourself.
Day 2: Something you love about yourself.
Day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 8: Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 9: Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12: Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14: A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15: Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16: Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17: A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18: Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19: What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20: Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21: (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22: Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24: Make a play list to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25: The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27: What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28: What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30: A letter to yourself: tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself. 

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