Monday Confessional

I missed Friday Confessions so I decided to switch it up and do Monday Confessions instead.

I'll keep it short but not so sweet.

*I decided to go on a diet and have already failed by eating cookies for breakfast {as well as oatmeal and a bananer} Those darn Girl Scout cookies!

*TMI ALERT - I'm starting to think sex will never be the same and this seriously upsets me.

*TMI ALERT - Since I've been eating a ton of fruit, I've had no issues going to the bathroom.

*I hate our couch and can't wait to spend more money to get a new one. After we sell our old one first, which we're in the process of doing right now.

*I want to be a SAHM, soooo freakin' bad.

*I totally just sang that last part out...I wanna be a billionaire soooo freakin' bad

{photo dump}

Baby Bjorn, one of my many lifesavers.

hospital grade pump, which saved my supply.

and of course, my beautiful daughter.

 

New T.V. and I lovvveee it!

{lame sauce}

Soooo....I deleted my old template to try and put a new one up..

Didn't work. So I'm stuck with this crappy look for now until Blogger decides to start working.


Ya, for sommmeee reason, it won't let me click anything in the template design.

GRRRR.

Cooperate with me, blogger.

Lame sauce.

Top Baby Items {Part 2}

HERE are my other Top Baby Items.

OK. So most of these are for me and not so much Laila.

Dr. Brows Bottles {Wide Neck}
These were the only bottles that we actually used with Laila and still use. All the extra parts aren't a huge issue either and we wash dishes by hand..no dishwasher. No biggie at all. But we love these bottles and so does Laila.

Lansinoh Breast Milk Storage Bags
Laila doesn't use these BUT I sure do :] And I love them for storing my milk. No leaks at all.

Medela Storage Bottles
I use these all the time as well since I'm using a Medela Pump. I own 24 of them and most are stocked in the fridge full of milk. Plus they attach right to the pump. Double awesome in my book.

Medela Lactina Pump
I don't know what I would do without this pump. It's helped me re-establish my supply wonderfully. I'm in love with it and don't want to ever give it up. Unfortunately there is no way I could actually buy it myself because it's a $1,200 pump. Yi-ka-rum-bah. When I'm done with this bad boy, I'll be using the PISA. Which I've heard great things about.

Mam Pacifiers
It's the only pacifier that Justin and I could get Laila to take. We tried numerous ones but she just always spit them out. Luckily, we had a winner with these. And I don't know what I would do without Laila's pacifier, It's a lifesaver some nights {like last night}

{Cell Photos}

Seriously, I can't even BEGIN to tell you how happy I was to be able to pump THREE OUNCES from each breast.

my beauty sound asleep

 discovering her naked body {with a diaper, of course}



Bed-sharing

A LOT of people ask me where Laila sleeps. Crib, pack n play, in bed, swing, bouncer? I always respond with the same exact answer...in bed with Justin and I.

I usually get this response.

"Oh mee ggeee, you actually do that? Like, aren't you afraid of rolling over on top of your daughter."

Ahaha, something like that at least.

I was the mom that always said "I will never have Laila sleep in bed with me. She will sleep in her crib when we bring her home from the hospital."

Look how that turned out.

In the early days when I was exclusively breastfeeding, Laila would go down in her pack n play and whenever she woke up, I brought her in to bed with me since it was easier.

Eventually, from going down to waking up, she would be in bed with me. This has worked wonderfully for my family and Justin and I love the company of Laila.

She sleeps in the crook off my right arm, most nights. Sometimes I switch to my left if my right falls asleep. I have never rolled on top of her. She sleeps on top of the blankets for extra safety to make sure her face doesn't get covered up. I wear my hair up to avoid it getting in her face. Extra pillows are off the bed. Sheets are tight.

It's all goooddd. And I love having her sleep next to me.

And on occasion, she will sleep in her pack n play, swing, boppy. Mostly for naps though.

Friday Confessional

It's Friday again. Which meannnss...Friday Confessions! Woot Woot.

Not that I have a lot to confess or anything juicy.

*Remember in my last Friday Confessions I confessed I hadn't shaved my legs in weeks. Well, I still haven't shaved them.

*I won't drive anywhere unfamilar. It terrifies me and I have a panic attack while driving. I have to get over this if I want to go places besides West Bend, Jackson, Slinger, Menomonee Falls, Germantown or Hartford.

*I can't stand seeing myself naked. For reallss...I'm disgusted.

*I've been having horrible thoughts while driving alone with Laila at night. I constantly have this feeling that something scary is going to happen to the both of us.  Like get hit by a car or stranded on the side of the road.

*My heart breaks everyday when I have to drop Laila off at the sitters or my moms. I just want to cry. I should not be leaving my daughter at such a young ago but Justin and I need two incomes.

*I've been wearing the same jeans almost everyday. I just can't fit into anything else.

*AND when I wash those ones, I have to wear my maternity jeans. Soo sad.

*Pumping every 2 hours = Break time from work = HEAVEN!

*I have a sick obsession with lotions, sprays, undies bras and fuzzy socks. You can never have too many.

*I hate hate hate formula. The smell of it almost made me puke the other day.

*Still no birth control ... or condoms. Not a good idea.

*I've been pumping about 8 ounces a day for Laila. That's 2 bottles and she has anywhere between 6-8 bottles. I wish this process would just hurry up but I need to be patient. Some days I feel like a failure though, but I have no intentions to stop pumping or trying to get Laila to latch.

*I was prescribed anti-depressants but haven't taken them. And ever since I started re-lactating, I've been much happier. It's amazing.

That's all for now, Folks!

poor me :{ poor eye

Yes, that is my eye.

Taken with my camera phone.

Turns out, I have a very inflamed eye :[

To the point where I could lose my vision!!

Blurry, red, dilated.

The eye doctor was very surprised that I am not in pain because of it.

Apparently, I should be?

But I'm not.

Only when you touch it and that I definitely try to avoid.

I'm stuck taking eye drops every hour during the day.

Every four hours at night.

I go back again on Sunday to see if it's any better.

And then a couple more times after that for the next couple weeks.

Not to mention, my Vision Insurance SUCKS.

HELP

Alright Ladies, I need your help with my button.

It's having some...issues.

There is no code listed below so people can grab.

What did I do wronnggg??

my heart..

cause' they taste so good.

Friday Confessional

I thought I would join in on Friday Confessional. After all, there are some things I need to get off of my chest.

*I was going to start doing Friday Confessional's a couple weeks ago. But I was lazy and tired and didn't feel like it.

*I haven't shaved my legs in .. er .. a couple weeks.

*I hate getting my picture taken because I swear the camera makes my face look FAT.

*I can't stand being home alone. In the dark. It scares the crap out of me.

*I hate the way I walk, something about it is just funny to me...

*I wish I had bigger boobs {and I'm already a 40D} what is wrong with me??

*I'm seriously considering getting a tummy tuck..and some lipo..and a boob job..and..that's it.

*I want to lose fifty pounds. woah.

*Will I ever reach that, probably not because I never work out. That's why I'm desperate for warm weather. That way I can take Laila for walks.

*I watch way too much reality TV. Justin hates this.

*I let my child watch Transformers and she is only two months old.

*At time, I hate being an adult. There are so many responsibilities that came along with it. Sometimes, I wish I were a kid again.

*I'm still not on BIRTH CONTROL. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?????

*I want to experience child birth, again.

*My co-worker is pregnant (37 weeks) and she just swears it's a girl.... I secretly wish that she has a boy. I'm awful.

*I'm constantly twirling my nose ring..

*Pregnancy left me with bladder issues...Gross {no, I do not pee my pants}

*I'm so freaking sick of snow. I just want it to end.

*My car needs serious work done to it but instead of spending money on that, I would rather spend it on things I don't need. Like magnets...

*Laila sleeps in bed with Justin and I *GASP*

*I confess...that wasn't too bad.

Do you have any confessions?

re-lactation {so far}

This is quite the journey and I can so that so far, I am beyond proud of myself. I have stuck to a strict pumping schedule and have been taking 3 Fenugreek 3x a day as well as 3 Domperidone 3x a day. I just started taking the Domperidone on Monday and have already seen a huge difference in output.

Before I was getting a teaspoon each breast. IF that. Sometimes I would get nothing. Now I am getting 1/2 an ounce each breast, sometimes less...depending on the time of the day it is.

I was using my Lansinoh Affinity but it wasn't able to keep up with all the constant pumping I was doing {every two hours} so I've been using the Medela Lactina, hospital grade!! This sucker is huge and amazing. Not to mention, much quieter for when I have to pump at work. My Lansinoh sounds like a dying duck/cow. When I'm done with the Lactina, I'll be using the PISA.

I haven't tried to get Laila to latch. I'm terrified she will just scream at it again but I know that in order for her TO latch, she's got to practice. I even have a nipple shield to try and trick her into it. 

The thought of breastfeeding Laila again makes me SO incredibly happy. It's what I want. I want her to NURSE. Not just get pumped breastmilk from a bottle. NURSE.

:]

{Top Baby Items}

Bright Starts Portable Swing

Justin and I live in a small place and I wanted a swing that wasn't ginourmous and portable (folds up). This swing was PERFECT for that. Did everything I wanted and was gender neutral for any kiddos down the longggg road. The music on it is VERY annoying so we never play it but the speeds are awesome. It also has a timer, which we never use and two recline positions. Best of all, Laila LOVES it.

Bare Naked Boppy with Emily's Garden Slipcover

The boppy is amazing for breastfeeding. I was constantly using it while Laila was getting the boob juice. She also loves to just lay it and relax and stare at things. Super comfortable and fun patters. I love the Emily's Garden print. I love the wooded, nature look of it. Laila also tends to sleep in her boppy a TON, even though it says to not let them. Ohhh well.

FP Soothe & Glow Seahorse

This...is a lifesaver. I don't know HOW I survived without it the first month. But, I did and I managed. This thing works wonders when Laila is super fussy and refuses to sleep. We just lay it next to her, turn it on while she is swinging and within a couple minutes, she's out! That simple. It's plush and suppperr cute. I got mine at WalMart for $11 bucks.

Sleep Bags or Sleep Gowns

These are simple for those middle-of-the-night diaper changes. And in the beginning I only had TWO. Now, somewhere around 15. Ya, I love them THAT much that every time I saw one, I had to buy it...as long as it was cute. I even asked people to get them for Laila for Christmas. There either one size or 0-6 months so they will last a while on Laila. Also, when Laila was a newborn she would just wear the bags or gowns because lets face it, getting a newborn into fancy pretty clothes is a waste because they poop and spit up everywhere and their arms and legs are still scrunched up. Both are freaking awesome.

Tiny Love Playmat

This thing is the shizzz nittzzz. I just adore this and feel like I definitely got my $$'s worth. It's huge, portable, pink pink pink. Overall it's just freaking amazing. At first, Laila wasn't too excited about it but now she loves it. Especially the mirror. She sees herself and is like "ohh meee geee, sqqeee, that's me!!" ahaha. And she makes the most adorable faces every when she sees herself. But, she loves this thing now.

Aveeno Products

Shampoo, lotion, bodywash. I just love this schtuff. Laila had extremely dry skin the first couple weeks and this stuff worked wonders for her. Didn't dry her skin out like some of the others baby products out there.

Baby Bath Tub

When it comes to bath time, Laila is a huge fan. She gets one every single night because it is now part of her night time routine since I am back to work and can't stay up all hours. Bath time calms her down and makes her sleepy so it's a must. Plus, formula spit up is disgusting it almost makes me want to vomit myself. {lets hope she can go back on breastmilk, c'mon boob milk, PRODUCE!} Anyways, we use this tub that we are borrowing from my aunt. At first we had this sponge but Laila hated it and we started using it for a knee pad. She needs to be in the water or she'll get very upset.

All About Laila {2 Months}

Birth Announcement 

Laila is already 2 months {turned two months about a week ago}

She is 10 pounds 14 ounces. 23 inches.

Wearing 0-3 clothes. Size 1 diapers.

Yesterday she had shots, I didn't cry but I sure was a mess. I scooped her up immediately. For the rest of the day she slept. My poor baby :[

She loves bath time. Once she's in the water, she's calm and content and the happiest baby ever. But once you take her out, she freaks. Which is understandable because she just went from being in warm water to entering the cold. No one likes that.

For the past couple of weeks all she wants to do is stand on her feet. Which is awesome but my arms get pretty sore from constantly holding her up.

She loves to watch Transformers and I let her. It keeps her calm at five in the morning when I have to get ready for work. If Justin or I turn the channel, she'll sometimes get upset.

She also loves Baby Einstein videos.

She doesn't sleep through the night. Bummer, but that's OK. She goes to bed around 8, sometimes early. Depending on when she gets her bath and bottle. She will sleep for 6 hours {up at 2} and then want another bottle. Go back to bed for 3 more hours {up at 5} and have another bottle. After this she usually stays up and hangs out in her swing while I get ready for work.

She loves car rides. They almost always put her to sleep.  But she hates to be in her car seat if she's not moving.

Her eyes follow you, although she still has some "drunk lag"

She still isn't a huge fan of being swaddled...she likes her arms to be free. But, on super fussy nights we'll attempt to swaddle her and she will just fall asleep.

She smiles ALL THE TIME! And I love this. I love picking her up from the sitters and seeing that big smile on her face once she sees me.

She coos like crazy and even "says" hi. haha

She hates to sleep alone. Hates it. She prefers to be snuggled up next to Justin or I. This leads to her sleeping in our bed. Which I am 100 % OK with. I love her snuggled next to me.

She prefers breast milk over formula :]

She doesn't like huge crowds and isn't a fan of strangers.

Loves her pacifer and even loves to use her hands to suck on. Some days, I find her trying to shove her whole fist into her mouth. This makes me wonder if she's going to start sucking her thumb?

She tries to grab at toys and such but isn't quite there. But she can hold your finger or something small.

She's amazing. Completely amazing.

I LOVE YOU, LAILA!

{photo dump}

pictures taken with my new camera. 

i'm still learning how to use it so please don't mind the overexposed, grainy, out of focus shots. 

:]

pumpinggg

it's 2:14 a.m. and i'm pumping.

i can't wait to go back to bed...